4:01 run.
Mostly sunny, nice day to work on getting some sun. With shirt off, a little chilly when walking through shade but fortunately there are some nice stretches of sun that I can stay in most of the time. Lotsa back and forth but worth it, I guess. Not that it matters if I am tanned or not. My vanity wants me to be nice and tan but there's no one to be tan for.
Anyway....
Main Music: Hawk Nelson... Is My Friend (2008)
Pretty good album. The line "I used to be somebody else" really struck me. I'm not a depressed person by nature. I'm a person who enjoys life, knows how to live and have fun, someone who isn't sad all the time. This depression that I live with is caused by people who've, well, done me wrong. It has really hurt and it still hurts, every day, every hour. All I can do is try to fill my days with whatever to help me take my mind off it all.
All I want is my happiness back. What really sucks is that's beyond my grasp, it's not something I can get all by myself. Being happy isn't something I can change without help. How messed up is that? And where does it leave me? Broken...
and just wanting to die. But I hang on.
Faith keeps me hanging on.
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