By the way, tapes look like this:
here's the playlist so far...
Album # 1: The Cure - Wish (1992)
Several lyrics really grabbed me but for the life o' me I cannot remember which because I haveben drinking. And not every typing mistake i am going to correct.
Album #2: R.E.M. - Green (1988)
Currently, Album #3: U2 - The Joshua Tree (1987)
With the U2 tape, you must ALWAYS play Side 2 first because side 1 has all the best songs. Well, best is subjective, of course. But that's what I do, not that Side is really better than 2 because they're ALL GREAT songs. Same deal with R.E.M. Green and The Cure Wish -- ALL GREAT SONGS! Splendid trio to start the day. Not that I'm starting my day now, I'm actually just ending my day, or closing in on ending it. Awake all night and it was a sytarnge (strange) one for me. Turned on the radio at some point -- a Christian radio station that my stereo is tuned to -- Way-FM. Usually I listen to Christian music daily when I go on the trail for a run and a short hike. But that hasn't been ahppening since approximately the last few days of September. Long time gone, lotta weight put on. Not good. In any case, every time I went out I listened to a Christian album plus a whole bunch of other songs. My mp3 player was a lifesaver for me, sort of, at leastit was a great friend. Always a new playlist, each day new tunes that I haven't heard in awhile or sometimes new tuines that i've never heard. Great music!
Biut ther'e's been no music since September. Dry month. Now and then i'd put the radio on for a few minutes a day, not much, ya know. Very little. Maybe 6 or 7 times all month. But this morning, early, like 2 a.m. I turned off the TV and turned the radio on. Wow. Such good music. Brought me to God. I havemn't been there in so long. He's always always always with me but I get disconnected from Him big time sometimes and music helps bring me back.
But, and I know i shouldn't start paragraphs with "but" but I'm doing it again . . . but music of this nature makes me think sadly, negatively sort of, of what life should be but isn't. It depresses me when it should lift me. Ugh.
Something was different and it was time to drink. I fight that urge almost everyday, at least a few times a week, but last night/early this morning the urge won. The bottle won. I changed clothes and walked to the nearest 24 hour store, left at 3:57 a.m. and was back at 4:32 and the bottle won. I got a 6 pack and some donuts and the bottle won. I'm drinkin' my 6th beer now at 2 minutes before 9 a.m. and I'm thinkin' of walkin' again for another 6 pack. Yay, to pack on more calories and weight is jhust what i need. Hooray. To be drunk to get away from the pain is just what i need. No, it's not what i need but it helps.
Joshua Tree is done. What's next? i could turn on Sportscenter on ESPN but maybe more tunes. My ears are ringing. Music played on a low, reasonable, sane volume level? no way, Jos-freakin-e. No way. What's next? Zep maybe? RUsh. Van Halen. beats me. All's i know is life sucks and this first post is just so wondetrful ain't it?
Zip i dee doo dah, zip i dee ay.
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